SUBJECT: Interrogation of Highmaul Ogre
INTERROGATOR: Vorgun Gallyrn
[The Forsaken Contractor Vorgun Gallyrn enters the small, sturdy Orcish hut and puts on his most dashing smile. An Ogre affixed to the wall with strong chains rages.]
Head #1: SMASH PUNY DEAD THING!
Head #2: RIP IT! TEARIT! CRUSH IT! SMASH IT! [It heaves with all its might, but the shackles hold.]
Vorgun: Shhh, numbnuts. I make the threats here. [Slyly, slowly, and with some gravitas, Vorgun draws a long, slim blade beneath his cloak. At the sight of the blade, the Ogre heaves against its restraints even harder, horns scraping the ceiling.]
Head #1: WE KILL YOU SECOND TIME!
Head #2: Break these chains, BREAK YOUR FACE!!
[Vorgun hops into the air and slaps the first head, which knocks it into the second head with a satisfying thud.]
Vorgun: I despise your kind. Listen this time: you don’t speak until spoken to. [Vorgun disappears in a poof of smoke and reappears on the shoulders of the enormous creature, legs locked around the neck of the dumber head. He presses his blade to its singular eye, and the Ogre stops thrashing.]
Vorgun: That’s much better. It’s all fun and games until somebody loses their eye.
[The Ogre doesn't respond.]
Vorgun: So let’s get right to it, big guy… er… guys. Tell me about your puny little “Imperator” in Highmaul.
Head #1: Imperator Mar’gok smarter than tiny dead thing!
Head #2 is silent.
Head #1: He use powerful magics – Even Ko’ragn won’t challenge him. You never beat him!
Vorgun: Ko’ragh? Sounds like a gentle little talbuk to me…
Head #1: Ko’ragh POWERFUL! Your magics no hurt him one bit!
[Head #2 is silent.]
Vorgun: Hmph. I rather thought there’d be more to your defenses, but perhaps I expected too much of the “prime age” of the Ogres…
Head #1: Ogre defenses too stronk for you!! Twin Ogron Pol and Phemos will CRUSH YOU before you even get to Ko’ragh! And dat not counting rock monster and creepy spore walker!
[Head #2 gulps.]
Head #1: Ha! And all dat no matter – the Butcher will chop you up good! Along with –
[Head #1 falls silent. Vorgun suddenly shoves the blade into the second head's face, barely touching the white of one eye. Its jaw quivers.]
Vorgun: Along with what, sir?
Head #1: NO. Me done talking!! Sword-hand Orc no like it when—
Vorgun: “Sword-hand Orc?” I see… Of course it wouldn’t be an Ogre giving the orders… no, the brains of the operation would of course have to be outsourced…
Head #1: Stupid sword-hand Orc no rule Ogre! Ogre rule ogre!!
[Vorgun gently pats Head #1.]
Vorgun: There there, no need to get defensive.
[Commander Täl Skywalker of the Tauren Marines enters the hut.]
Täl: Allright Skinny, we’ve got what we wanted. Cut that thing loose and write up the report.
Vorgun: You got it, Boss.
Interrogator, Tauren Marines
Vorgun smiled as he put the finishing touches on the report. He turned back to the Ogre and smiled that dashing smile – quite the feat for a Forsaken. “Well gentlemen, we’re all finished here. I surely do appreciate your help, but before we part ways I have one more question for you: Why are two heads better than one?” The Ogre blinks, gears turning at a rickety top speed in both heads. “There are twice the number of throats to cut.”